I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
