I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
