I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
