It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
