She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
of course. lets lasso hookers.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
