dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
