ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
