what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
