I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
