Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
