You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
