Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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