Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Are we still banned from the library?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
