So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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