Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
