One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
