Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
