you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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