I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
