We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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