my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
