I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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