we have officially lost it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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