mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
