One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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