the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
