You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
