end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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