sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
