I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Never joke about your clitoris.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
