oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
