Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
