Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
