so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
