we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
