Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
