Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
