Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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