there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
