Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm really into asian looking animals
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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