You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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