i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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