is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
