every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
being pregnant is like rehab
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
