i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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