the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
