If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
