Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
well you can't waste a boner
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
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Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.