i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Green mimosas i think yes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus