i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Drake has all the answers
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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