How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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