clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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