Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
