What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
