I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize