Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize